Creepy Crawlies.

The day we moved out of our Pleasant Grove apartment I noticed I had a bug bite of some sort on my right shin. I didn't think anything of it, seeing that it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. By Saturday I noticed I had a few more bites and on Sunday even more. For those of you who have been with me when I get a mosquito bite, I have a fairly severe local reaction, which is why these bites seemed completely normal to me. By Tuesday, or so, these bites had not only covered my shins, but made their way to my ankles, calves, knees and thighs! At this point I'm totally confused as to what is going on because these are the same color as my skin and seem more lumpy than bumpy, if that makes sense, and I diagnose myself with a Crazy Rash (yes, I'm medically inclined) and smother the bites/rash/lumps/bumps with hydrocortisone. At this point I am racking my brain trying to think of anything I have done differently in the last week or anything weird I have come into contact with: nothing. Now we are somewhere in the middle of Canada and I CANNOT sit still. These stupid "things" taking over my legs are beyond itchy and I am scratching until I bleed. I'm not even kidding. I would scratch until I could scratch no more (my fingernails were full of skin..) and I would ask Andy to scratch. If he was feeling extra nice, he would scratch for a bit, if not, he'd say, "Nope! I can't feed your addiction!"

Well, we pull into Anchorage nine days after this nonsense has taken over my body--don't worry, by this time these "things" have traveled to my arms and I'm REALLY going crazy--and I am not sure I have ever known a person as excited and antsy as I was to go to the doctor. Now we all know how easy it is to get into a doctor: "Hi, I'm new in town and I need to be seen TODAY." Yeah, that usually doesn't happen. I couldn't get in to see the first doctor I called until the 28th of April, so I scratched him off my list (no pun intended haha). The next clinic we called was taking walk-ins, so off we went.

I will leave this clinic and doctor unnamed, but I will NOT be going back there. I filled out all my paperwork at which point the nurse takes me back to my room and I answer all the same questions I already did on the paperwork. Dr. So-and-so, a general practioner, comes in and I know we shouldn't judge people based on the way they look, but man, all confidence was shot when she walked in! She examines my bites/rash/lumps/bumps and is completely puzzled. She says she's never seen or heard of anything of this sort and continues to just stare. She then says, "Well, let me go reference my Dermatology Book and see if I see anything in there that resembles this." Not even kidding, she comes back about an hour later and says, "I looked through the Derm-Book and I don't see anything similar and I also surfed the internet and couldn't find anything." Well goodness gracious girlfriend, I could have done that for FREE at my house! She again stares at me for a bit (really uncomfortable haha) and says, "Here are some samples of Xyzal. Take one a day and that should at least get rid of the itching. In the meantime we'll make an appointment for you at a dermatologist in town." That is a lovely answer, but I already took Xyzal and it didn't do anything and my insurance doesn't cover any dermatologists in Anchorage. Regardless, I took the samples she gave me and the note that says, "Avoid scratching," and bounced.

Please folks, I know this is getting long, but it gets better! I leave Dr. So-and-so's office completely annoyed that we wasted half our day there, but whatever, right? We really don't have anything to do but find a place to live, and that's not important at all. On Tuesday I am having a cow because I'm itching just as bad and I can't go to a dermatologist unless I want to pay an arm and a leg, which maybe I should have considered because it would have gotten rid of two itching appendages! I call my madre and tell her my symptoms and the wise woman recommends going to see an immunologist. She says it sounds like an allergic reaction or something happening on the inside of my body.

I get online and search for immunologists in the area covered by my insurance and I find a list of nine! GOOD NEWS! But still, I know I'm not going to be getting in for a week or two and by then I will have probably cut my own legs off. Well I call the first one on the list and the receptionist is like, "Ma'am, we'll need a doctor's referral and they will have to fax over their notes on you." I reply, "Even if she walked in, stared at me, and didn't have an answer and told me I was out of luck?" "Yes, ma'am. As soon as we get a fax from them we will call you to make an appointment." Ah! So I jumped those hoops and she calls me back and says, "Can you come in today at 2?" "HECK YES I CAN!"

It was turning out to be a grand day. We pull up to the clinic and we're highly impressed already. I walk in and fill out my paperwork. They are running 10 minutes ahead of schedule (WOW!) and take me back to my room. Within a few seconds the doctor comes in. He looks over my paperwork and asks me a few more questions and then takes a look at my lumps. He says something all too familiar, "Wow. Wow! I have never seen anything like this before!" He continues asking me questions and says, "Well, I would tell you to go get biopsies, but the fact that they itch, tells me there is something else causing these." We keep talking as he stares and touches the lumps, or nodules as we now call them, and says, "You know, let me go consult with my colleagues and see if it is something they are familiar with." Not even five minutes later, three doctors come walking in. I am now a nutcase on display! They all say it isn't anything that they have seen before but they have a guess. One says to the other while looking through his magnifying glass, "See that? That doesn't look like it belongs there. Let's dig that out." Dig? DIG? Alright, whatever is going to make me better. Cut the thing off if you have to! He then says, "Hopefully we'll find some eggs, a probiscus, or the little bugger itself." A nurse comes back in with her magnifying glass and several razor blades and slides. She literally is digging through my skin with a sharp razor blade, and yes, it hurts. She gets what cells/unknown objects she can and takes the slides back out to the doctors to look at under a microscope.

Okay, now we hurry up and wait for 45 minutes and the doctor comes back in and says they can't see a thing. AH! Then he tells me he is going to treat me as if there are arthropods a.k.a. creepy crawlies living in me causing these nodules. His diagnosis? Papular urticaria. Look it up.

Two and a half hours later we walk out of there with FOUR prescriptions in hand. I will go ahead and end my story now, but can I please tell you that prednisone is a miracle drug? I'm feeling better already!

One question though. Can anyone tell me how I am supposed to take my medications at the same time, but half are supposed to be on an empty stomach with a lot of water and the other half with food? Hmmm.